Another Funeral (an excerpt)

Summer, 2002

Colin

“She’s not even my cousin.” I mutter. Mother rolls her eyes at me as she pulls a fat olive with her teeth from the gold stick, that’s been clanking against her martini glass all day. 

“I don’t care what you call her, Colin, as long as you call her away from the party.” Her eyes move to the 6-year-old hanging off Mrs. Caldwell’s long skirt. Mine follow, taking in the small girl with porcelain skin and jet-black ringlets tied up into two pigtails. The ribbons in her hair match the frilly white and blue dress that stops just above her pale knees. They also happen to match the big blue eyes currently staring at me like I’m from another planet.

Mrs. Caldwell laughs lightly, attempting to detach the girl from her skirt. “Lila, honey, you remember Colin. You used to love playing together!” Lila’s brows furrow as she continues inspecting me, head to toe. 

“Fine.” I reach my hand out to her to hold, and somehow her frown gets deeper and her eyes narrow, glaring at my outstretched palm. I drop my hand and look helplessly up at Mrs. Caldwell. She gives me a small smile and nudges her daughter with her hip towards me.

Last year, Lila sat on the beach for hours watching me build a sand castle with awe-filled eyes, like I was carving a masterpiece from the damp sand. Maybe that would convince her. 

“Do you wanna build a sand castle with me?” I say, as genuinely as I can. Something about her face tells me she doesn’t buy it. “You know, I could really use some help since it’s gonna be the biggest sand castle in the world.” Curiosity shines in those big blue eyes, and she slowly releases her mother’s skirt.

I reach my hand back out, waiting impatiently for her to tentatively slip her much smaller hand in mine. “Come on, then.” I tug her abruptly away from the adults and drag her over to the pile of tools still covered in sand from last year. 

“Pick your poison,” I say, and a small smile crosses her face as she begins digging through the lot. I grab buckets and shovels and begin the short walk down to the private beach. She trots behind me with the least practical tools for building a sand castle imaginable. Clutching a starfish and octopus-shaped mold, along with a watering can, a grin begins to form on her face.

I smirk. Easy to please, this one. 

We plop our tools in the sand before running to the water and filling up our buckets. I watch her from the corner of my eye as fills her molds with sand and drips water uselessly over the sand. When she reveals a crumbling mess of sand beneath her starfish mold, her grin drops from her face. A scowl begins to form once again and her lips pull into a pout. Once again rolling my eyes, I snatch the mold from her little fingers. I teach her how wet the sand needs to be, how to pack it into the mold, how to release it gently. Her eyes track my movements, and her jaw drops when I pull the mold away to reveal a nearly perfect starfish.

“My turn, my turn!” she snags the mold from my hand and runs back to the water, squealing when it soaks her shoes. She rinses the mold and fills another bucket. When she turns back to me, brimming with excitement, I let her try again. It crumbles into another pile of sand. She looks up at me like I personally killed her starfish, and the deadly serious accusatory look on her face destroys my composure. I burst into laughter, and she throws the empty mold at me before she starts to giggle as well. 

Once I catch my breath, I turn back to work on the actual sand castle. “Keep practicing, Li, you’ll get it.” She grins at me before doing as I say. We work in mostly silence. She tells me to look every time she makes a successful starfish, but when she moves on to the octopus mold, she tries to hide her failed attempts from my eyeline. 

Eventually, I look up and realize she’s tired of her task. She’s kicked off her tiny shoes and sodden socks and lies in the sand, focused intently on my hands building the castle. Something about the way she watches me makes me puff up my chest. Like I could do anything as long as she’s watching me like that. After some time, she rests her chin in her hand, and her eyes slowly start to drift closed. Eventually, her head drops onto her arms, and she falls asleep curled in the sand.

I look back towards the huge house. I can hear some music still coming from the patio. There are still plenty of people laughing and drinking and clinking glasses. My stomach grumbles when I smell what they’ve begun grilling. I glance back at Lila. I’m sure she’ll be hungry when she wakes up. 

I stand quietly and brush the sand off my pants. Rushing a little so as not to leave her alone for too long, I run back to the house. Grabbing a paper plate from one of the tables set up outside, I throw one of everything I can find onto it, not knowing what she’ll like. I grab a couple of water bottles before spotting a beach blanket on my way back out to Lila. My hands are full, but what if she’s cold? It gets chilly on the beach at night. I wrap the water bottles up in the blanket and clutch the bundle to my chest before hopping down the stairs and trotting back to Lila and our castle.

The sun is setting over the water, and I can see her silhouette still lying curled up on the sand. Relief floods me knowing she didn’t wake up alone. When I reach her, I lay the blanket down and quietly sit next to her.

I nudge her shoulder with my hand and she starts to stir. Sleepy eyes blink open to gaze up at me. I can tell she smells the food when she starts smacking her lips groggily.

“I thought you might be hungry.” Her eyes brighten at the prospect of food. Nodding, she pulls herself up to crawl onto the blanket I’ve spread out and settles onto her knees. She rubs her bare arms, and I notice they’re covered in goosebumps. I knew she’d be cold. I look down at the blanket we’re sitting on and mentally scold myself. It’s covered in sand. Instead of giving her the blanket to wrap herself in, I scoot towards her. I wrap my arm around her shoulders and pull her tiny body into mine to keep her warm. She snuggles against me before sighing contentedly. I feed her some fruit and chips, while, to my dismay, she picks the buns off of both my burger and hot dog. 

When we finish our meal, I get up and start packing away our sand castle supplies. She tries her best to fold the sand-covered blanket, and we begin the walk back to the house. 

Once we arrive, I let Mother and Mrs. Caldwell know that we’re back. Mother’s eyes are unfocused, and I’m not sure she’s even realized how long we’ve been gone. Mrs. Caldwell bends down to reach eye level with her daughter, and she starts brushing the sand off the ruffles on her dress. 

“Aren’t you a mess?” Mrs. Caldwell looks at me pointedly, “You’re going to need to get cleaned up before bedtime.” She says with a smile, turning back to her daughter. “Did you have fun playing with Colin, Lila?” Lila beams at her mother before shaking her head, no. I roll my eyes and reach my hand out to take hers. 

“Liar,” I whisper in her ear, and she giggles as I ruffle her hair and pull her away from the party to get her ready for bed.